You can't Fix it Overnight

I've done therepy before, but it's been a while. Must remind myself I'm not an expert and it will help to get back to basics.

Obvious Much?

Yesterday's session left me frustrated because I thought I was past this simplistic stuff.
When the therapist pulled out her ‘dittos’ I was immediately reminded of grade school homework.
In addition to this quite 'complex chart,' I was given another handout with hypothetical questions about hypothetical people in hypothetical situations and asked to hypothesize on how these people may think and feel....Um...When can I talk about me? Isn't therapy all about me? Did anyone ever tell you depressed people are self-centered (we can't help it).
I’m no expert but I get it- my negative ‘thoughts’ are creating negative ‘feelings’- just tell me how to make it stop already. 
Admittedly I’m not a patient person. I'm not new to this but it's been a while so I must remind myself that it won’t hurt to do some refreshing. And it DOES take some effort to retrain the brain, just like it takes exercise to lose the baby weight. 
My session wasn’t a complete waste. She did have one clever connection I had not thought of. The link between my anxiety about (the lack of) packing and my feelings about the trip itself.
To pre-game a visit to Buffalo I usually stress about family drama. My parents won’t get enough of me. They will make me feel guilty when I want to see my friends. To prove I can do it all, I make too many plans, run around Erie County until I feel like collapsing, and sputter on until I reach Buffalo Niagara International Airport. There I will elbow my way onto the plane looking forward to 24 hours of peace.
This visit will be different.  I am returning with my new identity as a mother.  I will be introducing my baby girl to the other half of her life.
Maybe it’s time to face the fear that I may not be looking forward to that flight back to Australia this time around.

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One comment on “You can't Fix it Overnight”

  1. Dear Dawnie one thing you wont have to worry about is a quilt trip. I am so greatful for your upcomming vist there will be no stress form my end. I consider my self blessed for the opportunity to see you and Lavinia. By the way the offer to babysit still stands so you can go out and see some friends. One more week to go :))))))

let's hang on the 'gram
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