In the few short days since my last post, the outpouring of support from friends and family is overwhelming- in a good way.
Within about 10 minutes of publishing my husband got a text from his good friend offering to help us in any way possible.
In the morning I woke up to Facebook and SMS messages from people close to me in Australia who had no idea, my best friends mother and her experience with being a transplant, a girl I knew in middle school, friends in Europe and Africa.
People I have plans to visit are offering to come to me rather than have me drive to them (if only I had done this sooner!) They all tell me I am brave. Not sure about brave, I think impulsive might be a better word.
Regardless of the motivating factors, I do not regret sharing my story. I am beyond grateful and humbled by the responses.
One refreshing thing I've found in motherhood is the ability to be genuinely honest, a trait I’ve always admired in other people. In the past I suffered from passive aggression- I worried too much about people liking me to openly speak my mind. Time is too precious now for political fence-sitting.
Previously, every time I tried to write about myself there were boundaries. I’m absolutely uncomfortable with being vulnerable right now but at the same time I’m okay with it. Gone are the days of censorship, of self- medication, of presenting only a surface with most people in my world.
I need to be someone my daughter can look up to and she has given me the courage to begin to set the example.
Darling, you're already someone your daughter can look up to. You're someone I look up to. X
Thank you Leste, you are so kind. I suppose there is always room for improvement right? xo
Hugs. We're here for you. No, rephrase. We're coming to you for you. Whatever you need. Sorry I had no idea about your PND. How easily I've been sucked back into my own little world!
It's tough being a mum, but I can only imagine what it's like being on the other side of the world of everything that's familiar to you. But while it's beautiful that you want to be someone Lavinia looks up to (and she will - and does already, no doubt), you have to do whatever it is you have to do for your gorgeous self, and no-one else.
Here whenever you need, for whatever it's worth. xx
Thank you so much Emily, your words and thoughts mean a lot to me and my little family. I'm really looking forward to catching up with you guys when we return from The States.