Well, that’s not entirely true. Of course, I missed her, I'm not a monster! But I surprised myself when I didn't miss hear nearly as much as I thought I would.
I went on a girls trip to Nashville with one of my best friends, for three nights, the longest I have ever been away from my almost-two-year-old tot.
My
trip to Hobart early this year was the previous record holder- two nights away.
This time I flew the full five-hour itinerary alone which was something I looked forward to. In transit...just like the old days when I traveled so much airports calmed me, like home.
Dressed, hair did, makeup on, I felt good about myself that day. When I walked downstairs my Mother said to me, “Wow, you don’t look like a Mom today,” which I took as a huge compliment.
I didn’t 'feel' like a Mom even though I chatted about my daughter with the coffee lady at the airport.
The first leg to Baltimore was too short, I barely had time to finish my iced latte and a few chapters of the new
David Sedaris novel. Hot tip: If you want strangers to talk to you, dye your hair purple *eyeroll*.
On that next flight from Baltimore to Nashville I turned on some relaxing music and closed my eyes. I pictured taking a bath while Lavinia roamed the bathroom. She got bored and wanted to climb in with me so I let her. She was affectionate, hugging me with her perfect little body and little pink arms. It was almost as if she knew I would be leaving in a few hours.
She stayed in the water patiently while I finished getting ready- which is unheard of. I sang to her to ensure she remained distracted.
Speeding though the clouds those images played in my mind I felt a physical pang in my heart. I missed her voice, smile and determined (bossy) attitude. Usually, it takes about 24 hours before I'm craving time with her and I wondered if I would miss her during the whole trip.
I missed her again when my Mom called us on Facetime the next morning, other than that, I wish I could have easily added a fourth night to my stay. Me time!!!
Nashvillewas “excessive fun and madness” to quote our Jamacian-born Uber driver. My girlfriend and I spent an entire day cowboy-boot shopping, experienced the legendary Grand Ole Opry, saw tons of live music, and ‘Honkey Tonked’ our way down Broadway.
Me and my purple hair and new tattoos fit right in. Nashville is full of musicians, producers and artists trying to make it. Even though I could not carry a tune if it had a handle on it, I felt at ease surrounded by the buzz of creativity, inspiration and ambition.
I guess it's all about finding a tribe as I circle back to my first passions in life, painting and story-telling. I'm incredibly lucky to have found a supportive community of bloggers who share advice, experience and ideas with one another.
Not only does it feel good to share knowledge with these talented people but I think it comes back around, adding to the collective creative community.
Conclusion: If you are away from your kids and you don't miss them, it does not make you a bad Mom, in fact it makes you a good one (if you do miss them you're also a good one.) It's important to make time for your non-mama self and carve out a little place in your identity that belongs to only you...At the very least it's something your children can look up to.
Here is a tiny sample of some of the wonderful blogs I follow by women I am honored to call friends. Rock on.
OH my gosh. SHOCK!!! I'm at the bottom of this post. Wow. That's so nice that I actually got tears in my eyes. I'm such a dork. haha!!! Thank you so much. I was really loving this post. You're a great story teller. I wish you lived close to me. You'd be a great friend to have. I dressed like a farm girl today, but if I'd changed boots I would have easily been a cowgirl with you in Nashville. I am hoping I get 3 whole nights away from my little guy soon. I don't know how or when though. I've only left him a night at a time. You're mum is a good woman. She must love having grand baby around for some good bonding.
PS. Did you notice your hat perfectly aligns with the painting to make it look like you're wearing a witch hat? ha! I did a double take. BTW- you look HOT, mama!
Wait, did you see Charles Eston, aka Deacon Clayborne, play in Nashville? If so, JEALOUS!
did you go to the Bluebird?
A witch hat! Haha! Now there's a trend idea.
YOU are too sweet Jess. For serious. I love your blog and your stories (and for anyone reading this check out Peachy Keen Mumma!) Taking time for ourselves as Mums is hard but worth it. Maybe some day our stars will align and we can meet up in person. I would <3 that. xoxo
OMG Aunt Susan, Charles Eston closed the Opry the night I was there- and I had NO idea who he was at the time (he completely stole the show.) I started watching Season 1 of Nashville upon returning home and I wish I had watched it before the trip. Michelle dragged me to 5 Spot one night and I couldn't stand it because it was crowded and I am old and crochety but the acts playing were excellent and we ended up having fun despite my 'tude. No one local recommended The Blue Bird and I'm surprised! I'll have to go back again sometime and do a Nasville 'the TV show' visit. 😉
Oh, I was going to say, if Susan finds out you saw Charles Esten!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Glad she saw this.
He was seriously amazing!
I love that they have real musicians on the show. And there are so many places I want to go in Nashville including the drunk ladies bus tour.