I’ve got one cracked nipple, one leaky boob, barf on my shirt, and haven’t showered in three days. It’s 2:00PM and just spend 45 minutes trying to settle my baby before army rolling out of her nursery like a ninja so I could go slam a bowl of cereal for lunch, only to notice I’m out of milk.

Hi, you might know me. I’m a new Mother.

In order to stay alive for the next few days, I must use the rest of my energy reserves to pack the car and enter society. Dread settles upon me with this realisation.

Know what I’m guaranteed to hear at least once while I’m out shopping surviving?

“Enjoy this stage! It goes so fast!”

I’ll think to myself; “I sure as shit hope you’re right because this infant is literally trying to kill me.”

Do people say these things to folks as they train for marathons? Do little old ladies line the streets holding signs that read, “Enjoy this!” “No Pain no gain!” “It goes so fast!”??? Yeah-no.

I get it, the (mostly older) women (likely with grown children) at the shops are looking at me with glasses so rose-coloured that they may as well be staring through a glass of Merlot.

My Mother-in-law once described breastfeeding as “blissful” when the only word I had to describe it was “hell.” Maybe in 30 more years, I might remember it more fondly too.

I get it. The people, with the comments, they’re well-meaning. Their kids have left the nest, they reminisce about the good ole’ days. But as a new mother, I’m right in the shit.

Early days with my first baby felt like a game of emotional roulette. What would today trigger? Anxiety? Depression? Stress? I loved my baby, maybe too much, and had not enough left over for myself.

Three-and-a-half years later now, memories of that tough stuff faded a bit. Ah, the gift of forgetting, as they say. Why else would any sane woman go back and birth more children (like I’m about to do in 3 months time)? Maybe I’m looking through a glass of Rosé myself, though still decades from a Merlot or even a Pino Noir tint.

We must remind ourselves that Mothers are fragile in the early days, especially first-timers. Sometimes all they need is empathy, not strangers demanding they ‘enjoy’ every minute of ‘keeping a baby alive.’ 

I mean, I love my child more than anything which is why I haven’t left her on a stranger’s doorstep or given to rocking silently in a corner. Can’t I adore my kids and at the same time admit parenting is kind-of a bum deal?

Maybe try telling a new Mum it’s normal to find it hard. Tell her she is doing a great job, even if the baby is screaming as she fumbles with her wallet. Tell her to take her time. Tell her that it will get easier in some ways and harder in others.

I’m somewhere between the older woman at the checkout and the first-time Mum. Soon I’ll be back in the newborn fog and maybe a smile from an empathetic stranger might be all the fuel I need to make it five more minutes without a breakdown.

So if you see me, “The new Mum,” out in public, please don’t tell me to enjoy this. Maybe instead, tell me to keep up the good work.

A Healthy Apple Crisp.

Apples are in season here in Australia and comfort food is on the menu- that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it!

I swear this pregnancy is making me crave desserts like there’s no tomorrow (because in three more months there won’t be- all the days will run together).

In the spirit of comfort and hibernation, I pulled out a recipe my Mom wrote down for me and I think it originally came from my late Grandmother.

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Brought to you by Starting Blocks

Have you ever gotten in trouble with a Kindergarten teacher? What about as an adult? I have. Teachers are incredible but discipline is part of their job and they take it seriously when you don’t do your homework.

Let me introduce you to Starting Blocks so you won’t end up in the naughty corner.

I got a panicked text message from my friend Jackie one afternoon;

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Is a second pregnancy really THAT different?

“All pregnancies are different,” They said.

I didn’t believe them

My current condition brings along a colourful cast of unfamiliar symptoms; bad skin, stray neck hairs, and worst of all, the dreaded all-day-nausea. I was unprepared for this but I’m learning how to deal. These are my tips on how to have a better second pregnancy.

My first pregnancy was a breeze for which I’ve always been grateful.

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I’m an expat, which doesn’t help the situation, but parenthood is a foreign land to anyone who hasn’t been there before so I’d say we are all in the same, unfamiliar boat. Here are five ways for new Mums to stay social.

Modern Mummyhood

There are many reasons Mothers today are more isolated today than ever; moving away from family, demanding careers, cultural pressure to do it all, and living more of our lives online.

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This month my photography assignment is to take a portrait without a face. Challenge! Starting to get into some more abstract concepts which starts the brain churning.

It’s been a productive and busy month, my husband is changing jobs, we found out we are having another little girl and I’ve gone and dyed my hair gray. Lot’s of change.

For my self-portrait, I decided to show my new gray hair. I love that it makes me slightly uncomfortable.

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Some Women regret Motherhood and I can see why. So much of it is tangled up in our identity whether we like it or not. I’ll explain what I mean.

Motherhood and Identity

My daughter gave me an identity but not How you Might Think.

Yes, she made me a Mother, the instant shift which occurs with a child’s birth, but that’s not what I’m talking about. When ‘Mother’ landed on-top of my identity totem pole (wife,

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The April #photographing happiness theme is STORY.

All photographs tell a story but for some reason, I put extra pressure on myself to decide what story I wanted to tell first, to plan it out. I know now that I should have been photographing the story that presented itself to me, rather than trying to force one.

I didn’t take a whole lot of photos this month but I think the ones I did take,

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Let Lulu: Serving Up Love & Support

*Not Sponsored* I’ve been a customer of Let Lulu and wanted to write about it. Owner Kate Ritchie generously offered to let me try some meals (which were delicious!) but that did not affect this story or my opinion.

What would it mean to you had a week’s worth of dinners? Imagine what you could do with all that free time? 

  • Deciding what to make.

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