inspiration | Kangaroo Spotting

Morning People Have it Gooooood

It's been a week since my last post and I have a confession to make. Matt and I have been caught up/obsessed with Sons of Anarchy. We started over the holidays and are now on the third season. Last night we took a time off so he could watch some of the Australian Open. I ended up doing a heap of blog research while on the couch next to him. It was the most productive I've been in weeks!

To top it off, on our road trip over the weekend we started listening to the Serial podcast. Between SOA, Serial, and our daughter, I have no idea when my husband and I will have another actual conversation. We either need to rip through the rest of the episodes together or take a small break. Because you know I can't cheat on him and watch ahead.

Another confession: when Hubs and I get way into a show, I try and prep dinner during the day and we race through evening chores like fools so we can squeeze in two, maybe three Eps before lights out. WHO AM I???

Major Spoiler Alert Anxiety while Googling for these Images

Today was Lavinia's first day back at Day Care since December 10th! She cried when I left her because she's going through separation anxiety. It sucks big time. At least there are some familiar, friendly faces at our childcare center. They haven't called to tell me that she has obliterated herself in tears or tantrum so I don't feel too, too, bad.

This morning I was able to organize myself enough to head right from drop off to my chiropractic appointment. His office is above a cafe and upon arriving early I knew I would be able to have a quiet breakfast and a coffee. I even brought my kindle. Bliss. I love doing things in the mornings even though am the definition of-not a morning person. But every once in a while, when forced to be awake and in the world- it's really wonderful.

I sound like a broken record, but maximizing time is key. Today was about doing the things I cannot do when Lavinia is with me. It's no longer about showering, cooking or laundry- because I can do that all during her waking hours even if it means she makes a mess in one room while I clean up another. So today- I read.

This book called "The Artist's Way," was recommended to me during my blogcourse. The intro sounded preachy and religious but when I read further about how the author battled with alcoholism it made more sense. In AA they tell you to find a higher power to believe in. And she explains:

"When the word God is used in these pages, you may substitute the thought good orderly direction or flow. What we are talking about is a creative energy."

"If you are creatively blocked- and I believe all of us are to some extent- it is possible, even probable, that you can learn to create more freely through your willing use of the tools this book provides."

Julia Cameron, The Artist's Way

I decided to reserve judgment and give the book a go. It seems like many artists have been inspired by her words- Maybe this is what I can do instead of watching a bunch of sexy bikers ride around and do bad stuff on the television.

Tell me, what TV shows or podcasts are you obsessive about lately? What are your favorite distractions?

Becoming a parent is confronting and forces you to see the world in a different way than you previously imagined. The only thing I can compare it to is hindsight but without the inevitable wisdom.

Never has anything been more important to me than motherhood. In the beginning I felt vulnerable and unprepared, knowing more about what kind of parent I did not want to be than how to be a parent. The pressure I put on myself was intense and unfair. I’m still not sure about what kind of mother I will turn out to be, least now I'm cool with figuring it out as we cruise.

Sixteen months into my parenting journey I feel my consciousness shifting the way it did when I first became a grown-up. Maybe it’s a confidence thing or maybe it’s about making informed choices and taking responsibility.

Upon turning 25 I found my adulthood sea-legs. I negotiated for and bought a car by myself (bringing my Dad along for one test drive.) I ended a rotten relationship (dude wouldn't even come with me to pick up my new car.) I owned a wardrobe that reflected my personality (bought on credit.) Grad school was ending and I applied for a job that would take me overseas. I stopped blaming my parents. The world was wide and waiting.

Surprisingly, today feels just as full of promise as it did at age 25. I struggled into my 30's- adjusting to a new country, a new name, a new life. Even after all that becoming a parent was next level challenging- but we've made it through that historically difficult first year.

In the first year of parenting time stands still and lunges forward with little predictability, it makes you feel completely uncoordinated. At least now I’m getting used to the mother-dance and its ever-shifting steps. More importantly, I’m finally comfortable with how I'm moving along with it.

My little girl is a mirror. When I speak, I hear her voice now; the drawn-out American way “Bye” sounds like it has two syllables (a bit annoying). Or the way our tone rises when we say “hmm?” Or how she pats people on the shoulder when giving hugs like I do while comforting her. Soon it will move beyond the physical and she will mimic the way I handle change, growth and stress.

Lavinia sees me more clearly than anyone ever has or ever will. She makes me want to be a better person, like falling in love, not because I want her to love me more but because I know she will benefit from the work I do on myself.

I've cast out a weighty anchor but I don't feel stuck. In this stillness I have the opportunity to focus on passions I neglected while running around the world. Yes your travel becomes limited when you have children- for at least another 18 years or so- but that forces you to take more of an internal journey. At this time in my life I look forward to steering toward my dreams.

What are the moments in life where you felt a change in perspective?

Kangaroo Spotting is an artistic identity creator.

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Dawn Rieniets is both a visual artist and brand copywriter. She uses her MA in English, journalism and sales background to craft engaging brand identity copy for small to medium-sized businesses (SMEs) globally.

Dawn exhibits artwork independently and with groups; Thou Art Mum and Melbourne and Victorian Artists (MAVA). In her online store, you can find original pieces, wall art prints, and other home decor. A few times per year she accepted personalised and sentimental art commissions for clients.

Dawn creates out of her home studio in Wurundjeri country, the Northern Suburbs of Melbourne.