Medela Australia paid me for my time to be interviewed in this video. I was so passionate about the subject matter that I decided to write about the results of a survey they recently revealed.
A survey of 4,000 Australian women, by Medela AU, showed that after seeking advice from a family Doctor or midwife, the next place mothers looked was the internet.
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| click to view infographic |
So just like my advice in the video- we need to create our own villages.These could be online communities, forums, blogs, new friends. Medela AU have created a personalised app with all of these elements and more at your fingertips...Available even in the dim glow of a 3am feed.
To learn more about the Medela app clik here. I will plan to have it for the next bub because it’s a combination of several different apps I used when I had my daughter.
Note: Can I just say, participating in this campaign has been a privilege. I’m proud to work with a company like Medela AU who are clearly sensitive to a mothers needs. I hope this study encourages women to speak out, because they will find that they are definitely not alone.
If you or someone you love is suffering from depression please contact your local crisis hotline or beyond blue in Australia.
Sponsored by Spotlight
Know how kids tend to make things for fun and then destroy them? Think sandcastles or if you grew up in a place like me, snow angels. Making stuff can be just as much fun as wrecking it for no other reason than it rocks our socks.
So why shouldn't adults have a crack at it? Even if our 'castle' ends up in the garbage can.
When we overthink things we tend to take less risks. We stop trying to make stuff. Joy gets dusty along with our creativity. I for one am guilty of worrying too much about the end result. Can we just collectively turn-off our brains and let our hands guide us for a while? Just for this month?
Did you know that April is National Craft Month here in Australia? I was recently invited to a launch party sponsored by Spotlight Craft Stores (American readers, think JoAnn Fabrics or Michaels). The afternoon was full of fabulous demos, creative peeps and plenty of inspiration.
It's April! Like you needed an excuse to get some craft on! Or maybe you do...
Is something holding you back?
I know fear is a big reason many of us 'adults' keep the glue and sparkles close to our chest. Maybe we are afraid of judgement or even our own ability. But seriously guys! We don't want to show our kids this sort of negative thinking do we?
Kids don't sit in front of a blank canvas and say, "Hmm...I'm not sure I'm feeling this today because- pressure," OR "I'm not good enough," OR "Everyone is going to laugh at me." They just grab for the crayons and go nuts. You can too!
How about we make a deal? Try some of these little crafts with your kids and then...maybe take on a project you've always wanted to. So what if it ends up in the rubbish? Do it in the name of joy.
"Whats worth doing even if I fail?" Brene Brown
Here, I'll even hold your hand: Let's get messy. These are just a few little ideas off the top of my head. Google will have a million more should you like some more.
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| I'm sorry I always want pasta |
1. Pom-poms
Have you seen this website? It features apologies with Pom Poms. Think Post Secret but with colourful, fluffy balls instead of post cards and apologies instead of confessions (though sometimes the apologies are confessional too "I'm sorry I cheated on you." Juicy. I met the lovely redhead behind this clever campaign at the National Craft Month launch party. Here is a simple Pom Pom tutorial- try it! Kids can easily get in on the action too...Obviously G rated apologies only in their case! "Sorry I spilled my milk."
2. Photography Series
No fancy equipment required- all you need is a smart phone. There are tons of apps that can send daily photo prompts (with different themes, colours or ideas) to get the creative juices flowing. This article has the top 100 apps- I've personally used the 'Little Moments' by Fat Mum Slim app. This article talks specifically about iPhone photography and this article is a 30 day photography challenge that you can easily follow along with your iPhone or digital camera. Get the kids involved as subjects or photographers!
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| Only fingers and a fun attitude |
3. Finger Painting
No brushes needed! Squish it, smear it, feel it. Just let your hands and digits guide you. It's actually a mental health tool being used by professionals to help adults release repressed emotions. Finger painting is pretty self explanatory but just in case you need a refresher- this article is an 8 step guide to finger painting. Prep is king to avoid a mess when you're getting into the zone. Pro tip: Make sure you get washable (water based) paints if you have real little tykes.
4. Colouring Books
Don't knock em till you try em. I mean, I definitely did. Adult colouring books? Pshaw, whatever! I despise staying within the lines. HOWEVER. I have to say that I 'accidentally' grabbed one my Mother left behind at our house to colour with Lavinia...and I'm not gonna lie- it was kinda relaxing. Colour me surprised!
Bonus: It's a great distraction for the kids on long afternoons when they are begging for TV.
Now get out into your life and make something! If the results aren't Pinterest-worthy at least you'll be crafting confidence in your kiddies. Besides, it's fun.
Don't forget to check out the FREE crafty party happening in all Spotlight Stores on 23 April. Click here for more information. Hope to see you there!
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| Need more of this in my life |
I went to my GP yesterday and got a surprising suggestion.
"You need to make more time for yourself."
Who Me? The thing I preach about constantly to my other Mom-friends?
Self care is essential. Your cup needs to be full in order to help others or even just to survive in the parenting world. Why is this so much easier in theory than in practice?
I think for me, it's because my work does not really feel like work anymore. I've started so many projects and they are zapping up every moment of my spare time. Still so much to learn that I don't want to waste one second.
In the past I was gagging to have a break from work and these days I think I'm going to have to start reminding myself to do so. What a huge mental shift.
My new little business is in the construction phase. There is so much more happening behind the scenes (and not enough time) so many more things I want to share (but need to be completed)!
Know how experts say that you can't wait until you 'have more time' to start something because it never actually happens that way? (I swear I read that somewhere and it's true). You know, just that magic time in your life when the calendar clears simultaneously, the chorus of muses sing, motivation is off the chain and your energy set to a constant 'first cup of coffee' level...Obviously this is why those experts say you need to start now...because that will never happen.
Once I made the decision to ignore my fear (as if it were a whining toddler) and follow my passion everything keeps building.
To anyone out there thinking about starting their own thing or even just exploring a new interest I say:
No time like the present!
Where would you be in one year if you started today?
Do it, do it, do it.
Best. Thing. Ever.
(But just remember to take care of yourself along the way)
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| I want to inspire other people to do this! |
The holiday break is almost here. After today Matt will home for almost three weeks. I'm already fantasizing about a Hemmingway-esque writing retreat in the woods...only mine would have to be on the beach...which would mean hardly any writing would get done. Because beach.
Okay Doc. I'll take your suggestion and also self-prescribe a Corona and a good book.
My daughter was only a few weeks old the first time someone casually asked me when I was going to have another baby. (???!!!) As the years roll on the question comes faster and more furiously.
Why do people feel the need to try and convince you to 'do as they do'? If you have kids close together, they tell you the benefits of spacing them out, if you space your kids out, they tell you the benefits of having them close together.
Look, I get it, sometimes people are just making conversation however when they persist things can get awkward. I've gotten into near arguments with people trying to change my mind about having another one rightthisminute.
Luckily for me I should be physically able to bear a second baby but wouldn't I feel terrible if I couldn't? Why should I have to rehash that every time a well-meaning (opinionated) stranger asks about my family plans?
If it were me- I would never leave the house. The thought of loading baby/diaper-bag/stroller x 2 would be too draining (good thing I don't have twins or triplets!)
These days my two-year-old pals around with me like a little legend. She sits still long enough for a coffee date and I can bribe her with frozen yoghurt while I shop the Kmart home goods section. She even digs sitting in shopping carts while I do the dreaded grocery shopping. Oh and did I mention she’s been sleeping 12 hours a night since age 7 months? Yeah I’m bragging. You would too.
So with this one I kind of see your point but to each their own (which is my point about this whole business really).
Just so you know- I’m willing to risk it. And I’m talking about waiting like ONE more year, not seven, so calm yourselves people (there…you’ve gotten it out of me, I’ve revealed my plan).
Defence rests.
*This is not sponsored content- just my own thoughts*
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| Won't ever be able to fit into this pre-baby dress again..but thats AOK! |
I’m by no means a label hound (no disrespect if you are, actually I'm just jealous) and I think hunting for bargains is what makes shopping fun. While at University I started shopping at thrift stores and still integrate vintage and pre-loved pieces into my wardrobe. Makes me feel like a treasure-hunting pirate (Plus it's kind of a necessity with Australia's high cost of living) Arrrr!
I had to drag my daughter to the post office to pick up the package because I missed the delivery guy. You can tell she was really excited because she refused to let me carry the box (I have no idea where her stubbornness comes from #guilty).
Once we got home it was like Christmas morning for Mummy. To increase the probability of success I threw on a pair of heels and some Spanx .
One of the dresses was actually too big- which didn’t hurt my self-esteem.
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| No winners in this group |
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| Photo finish- the winners are #2 and #3 |
Round II. This time I think I chose better. I reserved two of the dresses in this lot, the middle one for Stakes Day (but in Navy) and the one on the right for Derby. Glam Corner even sent me a thank you email with a discount code to use with dress rentals. Score.
With the discount, both rentals cost a total of 136.00 (not including the 60.00 spent on try-ons). Here in Australia, you’re lucky to buy a decent dress for under 200 so methinks this is a reasonable investment. And did I mention all the dresses are designer! So fancy.
In the meantime, fingers crossed for warm weather because both these frocks are fashioned for heat. Let's hope my luck holds out.
Check out the DIY fascinator I made to match.
Update: In case you were wondering how I went here is a photo of both dresses! They arrived in perfect condition and on time and returning them was not a hassle. Logistics aside- you can't pay for the confidence I had because of these fantastic frocks.
What are your best trips for dressing-up on a budget?
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| Wow, my nails AND toes are done and legs shaved. I was not yet a Mother. |
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| Yes I bought those little leopard shoes specifically for my gender announcement. |
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2. Because rules
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4. Barftastic
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5. Shoe timeline
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6. Shoe lineup
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7. Shoe dates |
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8. Get messy
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How did you announce your pregnancy?
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| Slipped and fell right back into my Mom uniform. |
When I was suffering from post natal depression both my daughter and I lived in our jammies. It’s funny looking back at her ‘monthly progress’ photos she was often in PJ's. It’s the sad type of evidence which shows that I was struggling.
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| Mommy- let's put some clothes on and get amongst it. |
When I was in Buffalo I finished my half-sleeve. It’s something I’ve wanted to do but haven’t had the guts to for many years. I finally feel confident enough in myself as an artistic person to present myself as such. When I was in Nashville, a cab driver asked my friend and I if we were musicians- I took that as a HUGE compliment.
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| Rock'n'Roll Mama (oooouuuuuch!) |
Even though my family is on a tight budget due to a home renovation (which just started this week!) I decided to really think about purchasing one or two things that make me feel good, comfortable and are durable enough for my Mommy lifestyle. So far my boyfriend jeans have been a great investment. My beloved 1990’s are back in fashion so I snatched a couple flannies and a cute pair of converse. Maybe I'm dressing a little young for a 34-year-old Mother but you know what? I feel a helluva lot better than I did in my sweats and hoodie.
So there you are. Fun/ cool Mom reporting for duty. It took all of ten minutes. (Don't mind my messy spare-room bed in the background, priorities people.)
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| A little effort goes a long way. |
What’s your Mom Style? What’s the one thing you could wear everyday to feel good about yourself?
On that next flight from Baltimore to Nashville I turned on some relaxing music and closed my eyes. I pictured taking a bath while Lavinia roamed the bathroom. She got bored and wanted to climb in with me so I let her. She was affectionate, hugging me with her perfect little body and little pink arms. It was almost as if she knew I would be leaving in a few hours.
Speeding though the clouds those images played in my mind I felt a physical pang in my heart. I missed her voice, smile and determined (bossy) attitude. Usually, it takes about 24 hours before I'm craving time with her and I wondered if I would miss her during the whole trip.
Nashvillewas “excessive fun and madness” to quote our Jamacian-born Uber driver. My girlfriend and I spent an entire day cowboy-boot shopping, experienced the legendary Grand Ole Opry, saw tons of live music, and ‘Honkey Tonked’ our way down Broadway.
Me and my purple hair and new tattoos fit right in. Nashville is full of musicians, producers and artists trying to make it. Even though I could not carry a tune if it had a handle on it, I felt at ease surrounded by the buzz of creativity, inspiration and ambition.
Not only does it feel good to share knowledge with these talented people but I think it comes back around, adding to the collective creative community.
Conclusion: If you are away from your kids and you don't miss them, it does not make you a bad Mom, in fact it makes you a good one (if you do miss them you're also a good one.) It's important to make time for your non-mama self and carve out a little place in your identity that belongs to only you...At the very least it's something your children can look up to.
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| A public service announcement to all first time preggies out there...don't be scared just be prepared. |
{Laila & Spot graciously allowed me to chose an item from their current line to review. Like a kid in a candy store I picked out this dress that I can't wear until after I have another baby (which sounds like an odd statement)....but at least next time around I'll have something functional and adorable.}
When you give birth, your body completely changes. It’s different from your old body which you knew well, and different from your pregnant body which you had nine months with which to familiarize yourself. Now you’re dealing with out of control hormones, temperature fluctuations, milk production, and sagging to name a few.
New mothers have much different and more specific needs than pregnant women. They need accessibility- to the milk-givers. They need stretch in some places and camouflage in others. They need breath-ability, wipe-ability and dewrinkle-ability.
The kicker is, no one tells you to prepare your wardrobe for these things when you are pregnant with your first baby. Nope, let's just sell you a thousand bump-hugging things that will be useless post partum! Let me tell you, the bump gets a lot less cute without a baby in it.
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| Did I mention it's as comfy as it looks? |
And check out the placement of this zip. It’s above boobies so it won’t hug or draw attention to them (trust me they will draw enough attention on their own when they are squirting all over the place.) When you unzip, there is a small privacy shield so that you can easily control how much nip to expose...especially in those early days of breastfeeding when you may be uncomfortable (I remember trying to ‘cover up’ the first few days but eventually I resigned all dignity and fed everywhere.)
The orangy-red neckline draws attention to your face because trust me you don’t want people checking out your bod or judging you on how much babyweight you’ve lost (which they will do anyway.) And the matching trim on the skirt is just enough of a cute detail without being too blocky which could mess with the clean line of the dress.
There are two nice big pockets, big enough to hold tissues, bottles, dummies or whatever else you need. I doubt you’ll use them for your hands because they will always be full with stuff.
The fabric is nice and natural-feeling and comfy enough that I would consider passing out in it and going out in public the same day.
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| Even at 30 pounds heavier this would still look cute, don'tcha think? |
Laila, a Mother of two, came up with the idea for this company when her oldest was only a few months old. Like me, she struggled to find clothes to fit her post-baby body and ended up with buying button-downs that were too big and frumpy.
I asked Laila if she had any advice for pregnant first time Mothers and I could not agree more with what she said:
"Most mums are focussed on the birth and find it difficult to think beyond that. While you are still pregnant, work out what will happen after the arrival of your little one. A lot of people make birth plans – I think making a post birth plan is a great idea. Things like who will do the cooking, what your new routine might be like.
Buy yourself something nice to wear once the baby is born. It will lift you up on tired days having something comfortable, bright and easy to wear."
You can find L&S clothing for new Mummies on their website.
If you are interested in trying things on in person and you live in Australia or New Zealand, shoot them an email hello@lailaandspot.com.au with your postcode and they will point you in the direction of a retailer near you.
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I convinced myself I was having a boy but when I found out the opposite was true- I became concerned with how trendy my girl's name choice had become. I can only imagine the parent's of all the 'Charlotte's' collectively gritting their teeth as the Royal Princess' name was announced. Now they must mentally prepare for a massive spike in what is already a popular name, as a friend of mine said, "there are going to be millions of them!"
In recent years the name 'Charlotte' has decreased in popularity the UK (from the fourth most popular in 2000 to 24th in 2013) but it has shot up American charts (from 298th in 2000, to 11th in 2013.) 'Charlotte' is already the number one girl's name in Australia.
Ironically the most frustrating place to pronounce my given name is in the English-speaking country of Australia, my adopted home. People have spelled my name, Dauun, Done, Don.... Matt tells me to pronounce it "Dorn," but I just can't bring myself to do that.
Before becoming a mother, I collected a list of requirements for my future child’s name- to prevent any of the same grievances I have.
'Lavinia,' it will always remind me of our European honeymoon since I had the song on our traveling mix. And it gets better- the traditional nickname for Lavinia is Vinnie (Matt’s Dad is Vince and my Grandfather’s middle name was Vincent) a nickname I could not only live with, but love.
Lit Nerd Bonus: the name comes from Roman literature, a character in Virgil’s Aeneid which I studied in school.
Virgil's 'Lavinia' was a strong character, described as the 'Mother of Rome,' she was so loved by her husband that he named the city after her, Lavinium. My beloved Shakespeare had a character called Lavinia too but she was tragic so we won't mention her.
This name choice has proved to be quite versatile already, some of our Lavinia's aunties started calling her 'Vin'- which is cute and funky. And when you ask my daughter what her name is she says “Nee.” She can never be upset about a lack of options.
And speaking of Lavinia's Dad, his name was actually David for the first few days of his life before he became Matthew. My name came from outer-space, my poor Mom was super groggy before her cesarean and doesn't remember adamantly telling my Father and Grandmother to name me Dawn if I happened to be a girl.
And so we have Lavinia Florence. A big name for a little girl with a huge personality. Nailed it.
Did you have a difficult time choosing your children's names? Do you have any regrets? What's your name story?
