I read a quote recently, “Those people who give the most advice often have the most problems.”

Interesting.

Could I have been that person?

Likely. Ugh. Ick.

advice pusher

It’s funny how much we project ourselves onto others, isn’t it?

I’ve always had this desire to help people. It’s rewarding, yes, but I think there might be a darker side to it. It’s possible I tried ‘fix’ others in order to distract from doing work on myself.

Now my passion for inspiring people to get healthy is coming from a much healthier place. Lucky for all the people who stuck around.

Yet even in the beginning when I started getting emotionally well, I assumed that what worked for me would work for everyone. Newsflash- Not the case. *forehead slap* 

Everyone has individual struggles which require unique solutions. Now that I’m ‘better, more stable, happier,’ I see this more clearly. I tend to spew less advice. Now instead I prefer to tell stories, let the listener take away what he or she needs to hear in that moment.

I’m just a non-expert, sharing my journey ‘In progress,’ I know enough to know I don’t know. 

I’m 35 now and noticed that some of my relationships are changing. Or maybe I’ve changed. It’s difficult to be sure.

I do know that getting mentally healthy meant I learning about setting boundaries both personally and professionally. And for a word with such restricting connotations it’s been far more liberating than I could have imagined. I feel stronger, sure of myself, less insecure.

The more I say the word ‘no,’ the easier it gets (unless I’m saying no to my toddler because that’s a pain). I’d wager this sets a much better example to my daughter a broken woman running around trying to fix everyone but herself.

I’ve learned the best way to help someone is to empower them to help themselves.

Are you a good listener? Do you need to work on it?

Author: dawnrieniets

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