I read a quote recently, “Those people who give the most advice often have the most problems.”
Could I have been that person?
Likely. Ugh. Ick.
It’s funny how much we project ourselves onto others, isn’t it?
I’ve always had this desire to help people. It’s rewarding, yes, but I think there might be a darker side to it. It’s possible I tried ‘fix’ others in order to distract from doing work on myself.
Now my passion for inspiring people to get healthy is coming from a much healthier place. Lucky for all the people who stuck around.
Yet even in the beginning when I started getting emotionally well, I assumed that what worked for me would work for everyone. Newsflash- Not the case. *forehead slap*
Everyone has individual struggles which require unique solutions. Now that I’m ‘better, more stable, happier,’ I see this more clearly. I tend to spew less advice. Now instead I prefer to tell stories, let the listener take away what he or she needs to hear in that moment.
I’m just a non-expert, sharing my journey ‘In progress,’ I know enough to know I don’t know.
I’m 35 now and noticed that some of my relationships are changing. Or maybe I’ve changed. It’s difficult to be sure.
I do know that getting mentally healthy meant I learning about setting boundaries both personally and professionally. And for a word with such restricting connotations it’s been far more liberating than I could have imagined. I feel stronger, sure of myself, less insecure.
The more I say the word ‘no,’ the easier it gets (unless I’m saying no to my toddler because that’s a pain). I’d wager this sets a much better example to my daughter a broken woman running around trying to fix everyone but herself.
I’ve learned the best way to help someone is to empower them to help themselves.
Are you a good listener? Do you need to work on it?