Commence Head Shrinking

Today in therapy I learned that depression can seep in and out of our lives like a toxin and before you know it the ground is poisoned.

The past few weeks when I felt lethargic and drained I was uninterested in doing the things I usually enjoy, which indicates depression had contaminated my life once again.
This is just one of the many manifestations of depression that I must keep quarantined. Apparently it’s not always the doom and gloom feelings- sometimes it simply the lack of any feelings at all.
My counselling session was well timed. Yesterday I dusted the cobwebs off my body and today it was time to purge the mind. Confession: I did not meditate last night but if I did, it would have been a wonderful transition between the two. Still room for improvement there.
Last week I remember talking to Matt about not working out.  He said “The hardest part is getting there,” which made me laugh.

“Babe, it’s me you’re talking to me, not a Biggest Loser contestant” I told him. “I love the gym, I just don’t want to go, and I don’t understand why.”

More Work to Be Done
This complete lack of desire: Where did it come from?
I think many things led to me feeling emotionally paralyzed. Holidays are always tough being an expat but this Easter was especially difficult after just losing my grandmother- being away kind of dulls a normal reaction to such a loss. I wasn’t paying particularly keen attention to my health and I think rather than hitting quickly, the toxicity collected around me like a fog.
The plan: I need to start paying more attention to how little events in my life build up. For my homework over the next two weeks I have to fill in this chart about situations, my feelings behind them and think more deeply about the lead up. This is supposed to help me dig deeper, understand my reactions and balance out unhelpful thoughts.
My therapist suggested writing in the chart daily and not just negative things, I should be writing daily anyway. Not just for blog posts or social media, but for myself. Give my mind a drain to get rid of the garbage. So now I have to do mind exercise. Working out my insides and outsides all at once sounds exhausting but I’m going to give it a try.

Have you done something healthy for yourself today?


Author: dawnrieniets

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6 thoughts on “Take Charge of Your Health: Tuesday #mindbodyweek

  1. I remember feeling like this in January 2014. The first step was admitting it wasn't normal, and then actively finding help for it. So much change can happen when you recognize the issue.

    Posted on April 14, 2015 at 5:21 pm
  2. What did you end up doing to change things Nicole? And I agree with you, that sometimes all we need is to realize there is a problem and figure out what we need to change. xo

    Posted on April 15, 2015 at 2:02 am
  3. You know what? I'm always talking about how depression can sneak back in, and before you even notice it, you're like, wait a minute… I'm not feeling all that great right now. How did that even happen?! That's going on with me right NOW! I'm not exactly sad, but I'm not exactly happy either. I'm just “le meh, le bleh”. I know what caused it for me – pneumonia and not feeling like I want to feel physically.

    However, I have caused a lot of my health problems myself by overworking. That's why I continue to struggle. But thankfully, YOU have inspired me by doing this and sharing everything, to share my own stuff! Starting next week, I'm going to start taking my own advice and putting myself first. 😉

    Thanks for sharing all of this stuff – I agree that we need to almost be doing a daily check of how we're feeling. 🙂

    Posted on April 17, 2015 at 8:09 pm
  4. Overworking or over-scheduling is my downfall too. Sometimes it’s just as important to carve out some rest time for ourselves, I know it’s easier said than done, especially when you are focusing on your passion. You deserve to feel better- and committing to a week will hopefully give you that jolt you need to feel better again. And yes, that reminds me- I need to keep doing my daily check-ins!

    Posted on April 17, 2015 at 11:39 pm