I have been thinking a lot lately about the difference between blogging and journaling. To me they are as different as Buffalo, New York and Melbourne, Australia. Yes they have both been homes for me but have served extremely different purposes.
Why do I blog?
Honesty is something that did not always come easily. When you have this desperate need to be liked you wear different masks. You watch what you say, and try your best to filter or dilute who you are to suit each crowd like a politician.
If everyone knows your true-self, then you may not be everyone’s cup of tea. I always wished I gave less of a shit about popular opinion. My brother lives that way and I’ve always envied and admired him for it.
I’m not sure why I grew up to be so needy-perhaps that’s a topic for my therapist (see I don’t share EVERYTHING on here.)
When I started blogging years ago I gave up on it because I felt that I had nothing to say, like I was being narcissistic talking about myself all the time. I think the real problem was that I was scared. Scared and worried about what people would think of me. When I wrote it fell flat because I chose safe subjects.
After offending more than one person here and there with my writing I started to realize that some people will still have to love me, even if I disappoint them. And if they don’t- I’m going to have to learn to be okay with that because my words are my truth. I don’t mean this in an arrogant way but in a self-survival kind of way.
Not everyone will like you but everything is going to be okay.
I realize I didn’t answer my own question: Why do I blog?
I blog because I believe in the power of a story. Relating to someone else through the written word is as close as you will get to experiencing it for yourself. I’m giving my stories to the Internet because I believe that they will resonate with some people, perhaps people beyond my own circle. And if a few of you, dear readers, are touched, moved or shown a glimpse of familiarity in my words then I am beyond satisfied. In rare instances I would like to be able to help, support, inspire or genuinely encourage some of you. I want to show you; that everything is going to be okay.
I am not an expert on anything, but as my husband says, “Sometimes people aren’t looking for expert advice.” And you know what? He is absolutely correct. I know when I walk away from a good chat with a friend I often feel better than I do when leaving my shrink’s office. I hope that when you guys read my posts that you get that sense, that we’ve just had a good rap sesh over a cup of tea. Sometimes we just need to know that we are not alone in this.
What a blessing it is to live in an age where we don’t need publishers to distribute our words. It changes the whole concept of what it means to be an author. As if getting paid for my writing would somehow make it more valuable and me legitimate. Google Analytics tells me I have a loyal following and for that I am grateful.
Even better than statistics, which can be misleading, is that I have personally heard from many of you. Stories of camaraderie, commissary, and joy. Those stories are what create true connections. I believe in those connections so much that I’ve started a Facebook group so you can branch beyond just me.
So to the souls who care enough to look at my humble words, I thank you. Thank you for showing me that as long as I remain honest, everything is going to be okay.