I woke up today so cozy that I didn’t want to get out of bed. Once I did- I got an infuriating email from my Mom.
It was her response to me pouring my heart out about my financial woes and admitting for the first time how desperate the situation is. I usually gloss it over with Matty because there is nothing more embarrassing that being broke when you’re fully capable of working. I was in tears as I wrote her that email.
My large tax return is yet to show up at her house and even farther from finding it’s way to my bank account. I hate that I even asked for her to lend me some of it in advance but I did. I have credit card bills and student loans.
My Mom told me to “Get creative. Be a nanny or housekeeper.” So does that mean I should live with some random family in Melbourne and send rent home to Matt? Is that getting creative or defeative?
I haven’t babysat since I got my lifeguard certification at age 16. I don’t have “professional nanny” experience for strangers to leave me with their children.
Maybe I want to be validated for a second. I don’t want to hear; “It will all be okay, just stop stressing about it.” When you tell someone to stop stressing it always works right?
Moving on in my inbox, note from my friend working in Nigeria who urgently needs web-content. Thank you work gods!
Then I check Facebook. Last night I took a chance and posted a link to my blog and website. The response was amazing! People took the time to read and even write to me about it!
Maybe it’s a fragile artist’s ego but the praise motivating. I feel like a different person from the one who was angry at Mom this morning.
Maybe I shouldn’t blame her for giving me tough love. She is the one who made me as strong as I am today and able to take on these challenges. Weak moment, sorry Mom.